The Porn Challenge: Sex, Lies, and Videos

I stand before you today as a former porn addict. Yes, I said it. Have you caught your breath yet? And, honestly, I’m not ashamed to admit it to you now, because Jesus is in the business of healing each of us if we allow him to. That’s the key.

The journey began when I saw my first porn movie when I was 12 years old. A friend had brought it over after he found it in his parents collection. Unfortunately, this was only the beginning of me learning about sex from a perspective God never intended me to. I remember secretly being in our tv room looking through the fuzzy lines to see if I could catch a glimpse of a breast from the Playboy channel. From there, I used the internet to fuel my lust for more sex. This continued throughout my college years…

Then, I moved out to California and continued to fuel this lust as well as the pain of loneliness and insecurity with more pornography. I couldn’t stop what I was doing. But soon, I began to realize I needed help from others and God in his perfect timing put two men in my life that changed the course of my life from a downward spiral. We formed a weekly accountability group, where we met to share our struggles without judgment, pray for each other, as well as study the Bible. That lasted for 5 years - the best time of healthy intimacy in my life. God began to heal, and I began to be set free from an addiction to porn.

I was seeing some real victory in my life now, but as I let down my guard, I began to check out porn sites on the internet yet again. At times I knew I had people I could talk to about this, at other times I felt too ashamed to share this with anyone. I tried a software called x3watch which monitors what sites I’ve viewed, but I always found a way to turn it off so I could still view porn without anyone knowing what sites I was on.

But still, I was determined to not let this control me anymore so I contemplated getting rid of my computer all together but I am an internet junkie so I have tried to avoid that if there was another alternative out there. Then, I ran across K9 Web Protection. It is a free web filter that blocks any pornographic sites from being viewed. I downloaded it, told my roommate to type in a password so I didn’t have access to it, and I have been porn free ever since. I highly recommend this software.

You won’t believe how this is not only affecting my relationship with God, but also my intimacy with others, and my view of the opposite sex. I don’t have to be enslaved to sin anymore and neither do you. Do you have a story like this? Please tell someone so that this isn’t a dirty little secret in your life anymore.

I read a blog by Tim Challies on a regular basis, and he recently shared an article in New York Magazine about the dangers of porn on men as well as on society. It’s a great read, and reinforces both the experience I have had and the healing God has done in my own life.

http://www.challies.com/archives/articles/new-york-magazine-recently-featured.php

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” -Luke 4:18